I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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