I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
