I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
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I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
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Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already