guys are not supposed to queef...right?
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
27 Parents Confess Shocking Secrets Their Kids Don’t Know
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot