he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.