This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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