So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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