I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
THAT is your concern right now?
25 Porn Addicts Admit Their Biggest Pet Peeves
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Never let your siblings swipe right.