Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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