Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
