Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
