just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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