He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
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