Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Drake has all the answers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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