it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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