he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
