omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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