You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
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