I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
