he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I just had sex on a roof
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
