No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
