Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
