Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
