you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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