the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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