If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
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