Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Randomize
