I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
