I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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