Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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