"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
