I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
