at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
All the doctor said was why
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
