Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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