walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
then he tried to convert me to islam
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
