shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
