last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize