mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Randomize
