Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
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