You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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