Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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