Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Also, beer. Big fan.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Randomize
