So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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