Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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