Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Randomize
