i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize