I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Randomize
