somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Randomize
