As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
