I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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