I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
