Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Randomize
