is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
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