highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
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