i just made my gag reflex go away.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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