found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
