thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
