can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
