So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I love you. Go after that dick
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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