Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.

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(717): You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills. http://tfl.nu/kjxm

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(630): View more from Illinois

If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.

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(630): If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her. http://tfl.nu/sljo

Replies (30) Good night (471) Bad night (2248) Order T-Shirt
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(845): View more from New York

This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.

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(845): This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin. http://tfl.nu/f5uz

Replies (45) Good night (721) Bad night (7998) Order T-Shirt
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(508): View more from Massachusetts

I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick

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(508): I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick http://tfl.nu/wbrv

Replies (38) Good night (5244) Bad night (1721) Order T-Shirt
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(443): View more from Maryland

you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it

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(443): you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it http://tfl.nu/4e12

Replies (9) Good night (1056) Bad night (4049) Order T-Shirt
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(508): View more from Massachusetts

He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him

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(508): He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him http://tfl.nu/0v7f

Replies (4) Good night (5585) Bad night (834) Order T-Shirt
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(970): View more from Colorado

At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name

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(970): At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name http://tfl.nu/d4zs

Replies (12) Good night (3744) Bad night (970) Order T-Shirt
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(231): View more from Michigan

His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.

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(231): His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots. http://tfl.nu/wxgc

Replies (6) Good night (3706) Bad night (687) Order T-Shirt
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(678): View more from Georgia

I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink

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(678): I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink http://tfl.nu/zdy9

Replies (11) Good night (835) Bad night (865) Order T-Shirt
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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.

(215): View more from Pennsylvania

so you are graduating this semester.

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(484): my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete. (215): so you are graduating this semester. http://tfl.nu/j7mj

Replies (3) Good night (1250) Bad night (404)
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(573): View more from Missouri

He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.

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(573): He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer. http://tfl.nu/1tmt

Replies (2) Good night (690) Bad night (689) Order T-Shirt
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(845): View more from New York

just woke up under a car ? That's odd

(603): View more from New Hampshire

Holy fucking shit

(845): View more from New York

WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT

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(845): just woke up under a car ? That's odd (603): Holy fucking shit (845): WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT http://tfl.nu/jvxr

Replies (8) Good night (3014) Bad night (402)
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(908): View more from New Jersey

I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.

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(908): I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years. http://tfl.nu/293u

Replies (4) Good night (282) Bad night (765) Order T-Shirt
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(519): View more from Ontario

Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?

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(519): Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break? http://tfl.nu/r3b8

Replies (15) Good night (1123) Bad night (230) Order T-Shirt
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(732): View more from New Jersey

seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.

(908): View more from New Jersey

This is why you are not allowed out in public.

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(732): seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian. (908): This is why you are not allowed out in public. http://tfl.nu/xlma

Replies (1) Good night (389) Bad night (175)

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