Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.