Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Randomize
