I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
well you can't waste a boner
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
