I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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