Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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